Being a parent in any sense is a very daunting task. I won’t lie to you, it was one of the most scary things that I’ve ever thought I would do. Mind you I’m big into high adrenaline activities (Racing, Mountain Biking, Dirt Bikes etc.)
So you never would think that being a parent can compare, but it can.
See for me, when the Misses and I first started dating, it was a bit different because she had 2 boys, whom were older (8 and 7 at the time).
Then fast forward a bit and we just celebrated our daughter’s first birthday.
Having more than 1 child is extremely difficult, because we only have so much attention to give right?
Where this is true, I’ve found myself (and I know she has as well) in a situation to where our daughter requires so much attention, and both boys are starting to think we forgot about them.
Today what I’m going to go into is how I’ve struggled to be this multi child parent, and some ways that you can learn from me as well, each of these things is geared to give you a better understanding of how to be a parent to more than 1 kid.
This is tricky.
Balancing attention is one of the biggest things you have to do when you have multiple children. Think of it this way, you have to essentially let you kids know that well, you love them.
One of the things that I’ve noticed with our Oldest here, he is getting to the age to where he hides that he wants attention.
Instead of letting us know, at least before he acts out, he just keeps to himself.
Now this can lead to a ton of small issues with your kids as well, especially if they feel like you more or less forgot about them. However, here are a few things to keep in mind for balance.
Make sure you always remember you have more than 1 that needs you as a parent. This might seem obvious, but similarly in my case my daughter is just 1 now so she requires a ton of attention because she isn’t necessarily self sufficient.
Spending time and giving that attention, even if it means that you just ask them how school was, or for help with cooking etc. You can find ways to give them attention that they need, even if it isn’t always in the EXACT way that they are craving.
Attention is a huge factor in many forms of parenting, and I can’t stress enough how much of an ongoing process this is, especially when you have a full house of attention needing individuals.
Regardless, finding this balance can give you the upper hand moving forward because not only do you have happy kids, you will end up having a happy spouse as well.
Include your Kids in Everyday Activities
Most kids don’t like chores, or cooking, or even helping out around the house. But make it a family matter.
Take that moment to just say “Hey let me teach you how to make my famous sweet tea”, and oftentimes that takes that attention to a different level. Plus you get the added bonus of being productive as well.
Children are extremely different than one another, with 3 each has a different personality, likes and dislikes. So you have to approach them differently. Each child will have that need for attention, and react in different ways.
Our oldest likes just helping in any way that he can (Sometimes more than others), where the middle craves more physical love and attention. So taking that approach to the kids will not only help you stay sane, but create a balance in your family.
Keep in mind, this might not always be something that can help a ton, however in the long run you will see a bit of a shift as well, just hang in there.
Finding out the Personality of your Kids
This one is largely ongoing, however it can be done at any point in your children’s life. Where you do have significant influence on how your child will develop, you have to know that each of your kids are different.
Being a better parent to multiple children comes with this task. This task is hard for sure however you can accomplish this again, in time.
Take it like this, even if you have two children, both are drastically different. Both with again have likes and dislikes, and continue to change over time.
You have to take the extra time to find out about your kids. Ask simple questions which can lead to big answers, and oftentimes the truth.
But by doing these things you get a better understanding on how your kids operate. Find out about their interests and you can apply that to the above examples as well. Take it from me, you never will be able to completely make them happy, even if you do the things that they enjoy.
Giving yourself this thought as well, gives you that edge in being a better parent overall as well as to your kids.
Just as you should observe your parents, your kids observe you and start to develop an understanding on how you work as well. This gives them an interesting edge when it comes to talking with you as well.
Regardless, take this seriously to heart.
Your Kids all are different. If you are reading this as a parent to 1 thinking about more than just your only child, or if you are going into a blended relationship. These are things that you need to keep in mind while being a parent. Don’t think that this can’t apply to just 1 either, because it can.
If you are like me you will want to always grow as a parent and become better for your children, take these few thoughts to heart and I promise you that you will notice a difference.
Thank you for reading to this point, I’m really trying to step into this realm of helping other parents as well. Inspiration and Motivation is what I really specialize at, however I want to help others like me.
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